I acutely embarrass MYSELF

[kassidy62]

An actor over at acx is reading my "Beneath the Neon Moon" book for an audio production. And I? Am a preteen. As I just wrote tipitiwitchet, "omg, i just giggled wildly out loud at 12 am in the kitchen because he read 'precome' - fucking help me Obiwan"

It's not him, it's me, and that's the truth. He seems a lovely fellow, but I am having trouble having an actor read my stuff--embarrassed to bits, positively squirming at times to listen through the chapters. I wrote this for God's sake! I know what's coming. He gets the romanticism and warmth growing between the characters in the midst of their fear, and I'm glad he does, but I'm spending a lot of my time clinging to a wall or hiding my head or or--

it reminds me of once when a guy friend had me read his attempt at writing sex. Not bad at all, but I still had my hand over my mouth reading it, and I managed a coherent response, nay, a mature response, but inside? I remember I once LEFT THE ROOM in the middle of composing my email back to him. I had to have a break from writing an email because I was squirming inside. Wtf?

Comments

[marianrose.livejournal.com]

Ha! You are such a great writer and that means you write the truth very well. And the truth can make us squirm :) I'm very happy that your book is being produced as an audio file. I used to think that there was no benefit in having an audio file because I could just read the book myself. However, I have learned that listening to a book is an entirely different experience than reading one. I usually hear things that I missed when I read the book.

[kassidy62.livejournal.com]

I was really caught by what you said. I've been thinking about it. I do write my own truth, or what I hope and wish for: that the good guys came out on top, and that love and decency can push back against the darkness.
Then again, sometimes I write about how pushing back doesn't work, and may not even matter in the end. Which is the fear, I suppose.
I mirror your thoughts on audio productions - I read faster, so why not do that instead of listen, right? But then you have car trips and exercise, stuff like that, and you can utilize that time by also getting a story, which is lovely, and often unexpectedly engaging, in that the reader's voice can draw you in. He or she adds a dimension to the experience, you know?