I acutely embarrass MYSELF

[kassidy62]

An actor over at acx is reading my "Beneath the Neon Moon" book for an audio production. And I? Am a preteen. As I just wrote tipitiwitchet, "omg, i just giggled wildly out loud at 12 am in the kitchen because he read 'precome' - fucking help me Obiwan"

It's not him, it's me, and that's the truth. He seems a lovely fellow, but I am having trouble having an actor read my stuff--embarrassed to bits, positively squirming at times to listen through the chapters. I wrote this for God's sake! I know what's coming. He gets the romanticism and warmth growing between the characters in the midst of their fear, and I'm glad he does, but I'm spending a lot of my time clinging to a wall or hiding my head or or--

it reminds me of once when a guy friend had me read his attempt at writing sex. Not bad at all, but I still had my hand over my mouth reading it, and I managed a coherent response, nay, a mature response, but inside? I remember I once LEFT THE ROOM in the middle of composing my email back to him. I had to have a break from writing an email because I was squirming inside. Wtf?

Comments

[duluthgirl.livejournal.com]

This entire post made me laugh. I would be clinging to the wall, too! I feel awkward enough just having my husband or another fan edit my stories. Lol!

[marianrose.livejournal.com]

Ha! You are such a great writer and that means you write the truth very well. And the truth can make us squirm :) I'm very happy that your book is being produced as an audio file. I used to think that there was no benefit in having an audio file because I could just read the book myself. However, I have learned that listening to a book is an entirely different experience than reading one. I usually hear things that I missed when I read the book.

[hardboiledbaby]

There's just something very, I dunno, visceral? about hearing words as opposed to seeing them. Especially your own words, in a voice different from the one you've been hearing in your head. And if they are porny words, well....

Are you listening to a recording, or are you actually there in the room while he's reading? I don't think listening only would bother me all that much, but I would probably die of acute embarrassment if I had to make eye contact OMG