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kassidy62It's just easier not to post, and people get busy, but I figure since I still check in on the flist daily I should maybe contribute some words as well.
My flist has certainly gotten quieter. I remember when I could not keep up! Primarily that was the SPN fandom - my S&H friends were never that loud on LJ. S&H for me was a yahoo groups thing, though the![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
starsky_hutch LJ comm helped me migrate here.
I also remember the frustration of trying to download ALL THOSE SPN stories, and clicking what occasionally amounted to a ridiculous number of entries and continued entries to get at a whole verse. Do you know I used to copy/paste stories in MS word and save them as docs? I bet more than a few of us did. I mean, I have tons of stories still on my computer in doc format. So much work! I tried to keep up, which was impossible really.
Before LJ, I was immersed in S&H stories, and by God I PRINTED those out. Still have a bookshelf full of the printouts, and then another shelf of the printed zines (including my own two) in my bedroom.
That last zine I really busted ass on--I remember staying up until 1 - 3 am for a month, trying to get it finished in time for Sharecon. I hate to say this, but I kind of screwed myself over - after that is when I started noticeably feeling ill/exhausted. Of course getting less sleep didn't cause the MS, but I remember that's when I decided that yeah, I could actually live on three - five hours of sleep, which was a shitty idea. I ran myself down so badly, and in retrospect I wish I hadn't been so hard-headed about doing that to myself. Because now I couldn't do that for any reason. I remember thinking in 2009 that I was getting to the point where I only managed to produce sustained projects during summer (I have the usual heat intolerance of MS patients in summer, but not the escalating symptoms.)
Hell, I over-extended myself yesterday on a project related to writing, stayed up until 2 to finish something, and THEN gave myself my med shot and spent the next three hours with palpitations. What the hell is the point of getting too tired to get out of bed to take meds to get rid of palpitations so I can sleep? It was kind of terrible. *Lectures self not to do this again.* (And with some difficulty I will restrain myself and not call myself names having to do with dumb ass and the like. Oops. Guess I did.)
I had built myself the possibility of a career in genre ebook land some years back, but then I failed to produce a promised sequel to Beneath the Neon Moon. Cue a subsequent apology followed by radio silence, and I probably killed any chances of keeping an audience. (Better than promising anything again until I've goT a completed work.) The thing is, I'm going to keep working at it. And I know some of you put out some serious word counts in a week, and maybe some of you release works every month, which is amazing. But I don't think I'd have ever managed that, not even when I felt better. So anyway, the sequel is at 102,000 words, longest thing I've ever written, there's that:) Someday I'll throw it out into the wild, and maybe it will sink like a stone, but I will have FINISHED IT, and when I do it will be a wonderful thing to have accomplished. And I love those guys - they started out in my head as an amalgam of Dean and/or Jensen and Sam and/or Jared, and there are still similarities - but Mal and Zach have their own identities now.
And then, when I'm done with that sequel, I'll do my best to write another story, and another. And though I'd like to be read, sure, I really would love that; just not at the expense of writing exactly what I want. Dark, sometimes nutso stuff. The writing itself means something to me (and my beloved![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
tipitiwitchet, who literally has kept me going when I thought the writing was gone), and that's a thing harder to come by, so I'm grateful for it.
Segue back to S&H fandom: you gave me the aforesaid tipitiwitchet, and though I often find the fandom itself a little too straight-laced, that will never be forgotten. Plus I'll always love the show - I plan to watch it on loop when my kids grow up enough to give me some peace and quiet times.
Unrelated, but: SPN's Jeremy Carver is such a disappointing shower runner for me. I was afraid of him after I couldn't for the life of me keep interest in the last show he ran (Being Human), though I loved the original British version (first three seasons, anyway). Sucks because of gems like SPN Christmas ep and the like. He still can write some killer episodes on occasion (I loved S8 ender ep). So anyway, when I get an episode I really enjoy as opposed to it being merely watchable, it makes me happy. I enjoyed, so much, the Sam POV we got last episodes in "Book of the Damned" and "The Werther Project." I like how Sam and Dean have been really together and in the lovely, unhealthily codependent relationship I know and love.
Oh, story rec: The Outlaw Torn by LaughableLament. Old school first-time with plenty of UST until it's, well, resolved:) Expertly written in my opinion, classic in all the best ways of good Wincest fiction. Killer Dean voice, Sammy the irrestible tease and always, always, the clever, irritating little brother.
Another thing: I looked forward with great anticipation to the premiere of Orphan Black, a thing that was handily trashed when my phobia regarding eyes/eye damage sent me into a panicked fit. Made me pretty sick and upset that day. I try to avoid seeing that stuff, but that shit don't come with warnings.
C saved me from the one before this one, because she's good to me - the Gotham episode eyeball incident with Fish. And then there was the stuff with Amercan Horror Story: Coven, which had enough eyeball stuff that year to ruin the show during S3 for me.
I save myself as much as I can re: the phobia. Sometimes when they do a closeup I just turn away in case. Thought about (and have done, to a degree, in my thoughts) some aversion therapy but I haven't decided if it'll kill me or cure me - my reaction is fairly drastic. I sure don't want to be more messed up than I am!
Whew, plenty of rambling! I guess I posted then, yeah?
My flist has certainly gotten quieter. I remember when I could not keep up! Primarily that was the SPN fandom - my S&H friends were never that loud on LJ. S&H for me was a yahoo groups thing, though the
starsky_hutch LJ comm helped me migrate here.I also remember the frustration of trying to download ALL THOSE SPN stories, and clicking what occasionally amounted to a ridiculous number of entries and continued entries to get at a whole verse. Do you know I used to copy/paste stories in MS word and save them as docs? I bet more than a few of us did. I mean, I have tons of stories still on my computer in doc format. So much work! I tried to keep up, which was impossible really.
Before LJ, I was immersed in S&H stories, and by God I PRINTED those out. Still have a bookshelf full of the printouts, and then another shelf of the printed zines (including my own two) in my bedroom.
That last zine I really busted ass on--I remember staying up until 1 - 3 am for a month, trying to get it finished in time for Sharecon. I hate to say this, but I kind of screwed myself over - after that is when I started noticeably feeling ill/exhausted. Of course getting less sleep didn't cause the MS, but I remember that's when I decided that yeah, I could actually live on three - five hours of sleep, which was a shitty idea. I ran myself down so badly, and in retrospect I wish I hadn't been so hard-headed about doing that to myself. Because now I couldn't do that for any reason. I remember thinking in 2009 that I was getting to the point where I only managed to produce sustained projects during summer (I have the usual heat intolerance of MS patients in summer, but not the escalating symptoms.)
Hell, I over-extended myself yesterday on a project related to writing, stayed up until 2 to finish something, and THEN gave myself my med shot and spent the next three hours with palpitations. What the hell is the point of getting too tired to get out of bed to take meds to get rid of palpitations so I can sleep? It was kind of terrible. *Lectures self not to do this again.* (And with some difficulty I will restrain myself and not call myself names having to do with dumb ass and the like. Oops. Guess I did.)
I had built myself the possibility of a career in genre ebook land some years back, but then I failed to produce a promised sequel to Beneath the Neon Moon. Cue a subsequent apology followed by radio silence, and I probably killed any chances of keeping an audience. (Better than promising anything again until I've goT a completed work.) The thing is, I'm going to keep working at it. And I know some of you put out some serious word counts in a week, and maybe some of you release works every month, which is amazing. But I don't think I'd have ever managed that, not even when I felt better. So anyway, the sequel is at 102,000 words, longest thing I've ever written, there's that:) Someday I'll throw it out into the wild, and maybe it will sink like a stone, but I will have FINISHED IT, and when I do it will be a wonderful thing to have accomplished. And I love those guys - they started out in my head as an amalgam of Dean and/or Jensen and Sam and/or Jared, and there are still similarities - but Mal and Zach have their own identities now.
And then, when I'm done with that sequel, I'll do my best to write another story, and another. And though I'd like to be read, sure, I really would love that; just not at the expense of writing exactly what I want. Dark, sometimes nutso stuff. The writing itself means something to me (and my beloved
tipitiwitchet, who literally has kept me going when I thought the writing was gone), and that's a thing harder to come by, so I'm grateful for it.Segue back to S&H fandom: you gave me the aforesaid tipitiwitchet, and though I often find the fandom itself a little too straight-laced, that will never be forgotten. Plus I'll always love the show - I plan to watch it on loop when my kids grow up enough to give me some peace and quiet times.
Unrelated, but: SPN's Jeremy Carver is such a disappointing shower runner for me. I was afraid of him after I couldn't for the life of me keep interest in the last show he ran (Being Human), though I loved the original British version (first three seasons, anyway). Sucks because of gems like SPN Christmas ep and the like. He still can write some killer episodes on occasion (I loved S8 ender ep). So anyway, when I get an episode I really enjoy as opposed to it being merely watchable, it makes me happy. I enjoyed, so much, the Sam POV we got last episodes in "Book of the Damned" and "The Werther Project." I like how Sam and Dean have been really together and in the lovely, unhealthily codependent relationship I know and love.
Oh, story rec: The Outlaw Torn by LaughableLament. Old school first-time with plenty of UST until it's, well, resolved:) Expertly written in my opinion, classic in all the best ways of good Wincest fiction. Killer Dean voice, Sammy the irrestible tease and always, always, the clever, irritating little brother.
Another thing: I looked forward with great anticipation to the premiere of Orphan Black, a thing that was handily trashed when my phobia regarding eyes/eye damage sent me into a panicked fit. Made me pretty sick and upset that day. I try to avoid seeing that stuff, but that shit don't come with warnings.
C saved me from the one before this one, because she's good to me - the Gotham episode eyeball incident with Fish. And then there was the stuff with Amercan Horror Story: Coven, which had enough eyeball stuff that year to ruin the show during S3 for me.
I save myself as much as I can re: the phobia. Sometimes when they do a closeup I just turn away in case. Thought about (and have done, to a degree, in my thoughts) some aversion therapy but I haven't decided if it'll kill me or cure me - my reaction is fairly drastic. I sure don't want to be more messed up than I am!
Whew, plenty of rambling! I guess I posted then, yeah?
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no subject
Date: 2015-04-28 06:43 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2015-04-29 01:05 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2015-04-28 11:45 pm (UTC)I'm a fan : )
We should watch some SH this weekend.
Get some sleep tonight!! Gonna go check out your rec.
no subject
Date: 2015-04-29 01:02 am (UTC)Did you like the rec? I thought it was very nice.
Hope you're doing all right, my Smoops.
no subject
Date: 2015-04-29 08:18 am (UTC)I am okay. Tiredtiredtired, but okay : )
I'll email you later - we'll talk booze for the weekend, though I expect we'll stick with our recent choice?
no subject
Date: 2015-04-29 08:25 am (UTC)Before LJ, I was immersed in S&H stories, and by God I PRINTED those out.
Heh, yep :D Yet now I can save fic as ebooks, and I don't save half as many. No time to read, anyway *sigh*
Keep writing all the things! *\o/*
no subject
Date: 2015-04-29 02:37 pm (UTC)You've been busy for a long time, seems like. Sorry you're not finding the time for relaxing and reading. I hope that changes for you soon.
XOXOXO!
no subject
Date: 2015-05-02 07:14 pm (UTC)Yeah, work was sloooowly getting better, but now our office assistant decided to move back to the mainland, so we're back to where we were just over a year ago *sigh* And other aspects of RL have kind of stabilized at this higher level of... attention/time/energy consumption, I guess. So I need to stop whining and figure out how to adapt :P
Do take care of yourself, babe. I can appreciate the desire to keep going when the creative juices are flowing, but the consequences of burning the candle at both ends is too costly *hugs*
no subject
Date: 2015-04-29 10:59 pm (UTC)I've been poking around your AO3 posts. It seems SPN is about the only fandom we share though, haha. Planning to stalk you a bit more on LJ this evening.
Cheers!
no subject
Date: 2015-04-29 11:23 pm (UTC)Oh, it was a pleasure reccing your story. Looking forward to reading more.
no subject
Date: 2015-05-01 03:32 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2015-05-06 02:34 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2015-05-03 06:39 pm (UTC)I remember when reading and writing fan fiction was a huge part of my life, but just for myself, I feel I wasted years of said life when I could have been doing better things. I'm not sure what those better things might have been, but I wish I'd done them. Bike riding. Music lessons. Watching TV. Anything. Again, these are just my feelings. I'm not saying anyone else on earth should feel the same way. I have no happy memories left of those years, but I'm glad other people do.
I was never in SPN fandom, but I was in S&H fandom, lo these many years ago. Is it still around? Purely rhetorical question. Never mind.
Anyway, take care of yourself, okay? That's the most important thing for people with MS.
no subject
Date: 2015-05-06 02:45 pm (UTC)I'm still writing because of fandom, I think, and it gives me something for myself - not family or for other people, but me, and I need that so much. Plus I met my best friend via online S&H fandom, living here in the same town with me. And I still keep touch with some fannish folks, so for me I put a lot of value on having had that time. I still have all these shows I love, and I enjoy seeing people put out stories and talk about them, same as I have for years, even if I don't participate much.
Yes, it makes so much difference to my condition and mindset when I have enough rest. It hasn't happened lately (enough rest, that is), so I'm kind of...difficult to deal with. Snappy and the like. I'm trying to get back on track. It's irritating to know I require so much friggin' maintenance;)
You take care of yourself, too. Good to talk to you.