Uncharted Desert Isle

I've heard rumors that Jared is in the running to play CONAN. And I saw an article last night and I'm suddenly thinking of how Jared's hair hasn't been cut ONCE this season and I'm going OMG, Jared is Conan and the universe surely HATES me because I might have a whole movie of shirtless SWEATY Jared in a loincloth and I won't be able to watch it without CRINGING or turning the sound down. And to top it off I suspect  fortytricks  is making fun of me because of it.

Wah!

You think he'll have sex in it?

Just asking. I thought not.