I acutely embarrass MYSELF

[kassidy62]

An actor over at acx is reading my "Beneath the Neon Moon" book for an audio production. And I? Am a preteen. As I just wrote tipitiwitchet, "omg, i just giggled wildly out loud at 12 am in the kitchen because he read 'precome' - fucking help me Obiwan"

It's not him, it's me, and that's the truth. He seems a lovely fellow, but I am having trouble having an actor read my stuff--embarrassed to bits, positively squirming at times to listen through the chapters. I wrote this for God's sake! I know what's coming. He gets the romanticism and warmth growing between the characters in the midst of their fear, and I'm glad he does, but I'm spending a lot of my time clinging to a wall or hiding my head or or--

it reminds me of once when a guy friend had me read his attempt at writing sex. Not bad at all, but I still had my hand over my mouth reading it, and I managed a coherent response, nay, a mature response, but inside? I remember I once LEFT THE ROOM in the middle of composing my email back to him. I had to have a break from writing an email because I was squirming inside. Wtf?

Comments

[hardboiledbaby]

There's just something very, I dunno, visceral? about hearing words as opposed to seeing them. Especially your own words, in a voice different from the one you've been hearing in your head. And if they are porny words, well....

Are you listening to a recording, or are you actually there in the room while he's reading? I don't think listening only would bother me all that much, but I would probably die of acute embarrassment if I had to make eye contact OMG

[kassidy62.livejournal.com]

it's a recording, and it's funny you should ask that because I kept reminding myself, he's already read this, already *emoted* and this is actually in the past, but it didn't help much because he was emoting in my EARS, lol.

[hardboiledbaby]

Hee, the power of the spoken word! Your voice actor is doing his job right :D Maybe I've become desensitized because of porny podfic XD Some of that stuff is pretty racy. I even recorded one—and it happened to be my own fic, LOL. Not that it was all that graphic, mind you—just our favorite cowboys, gettin' it on *beg*

Anyway, hopefully you'll be less squicked over time. We don't want you losing your mind out of acute embarrass-itis :D